Beyond Hearing: When was the last time I truly listened?

When I taught elementary school Spanish, I would often enter classrooms full of visual and verbal cues that reminded students what active listening looked like: “Face the speaker,” “Use kind eyes,” “Wait your turn.” We practiced these daily with playful prompts: “Put on your elephant ears, owl eyes ready, calm hands on knees.”

But when I returned to teach middle and high school, something had shifted. The cues were gone. With digital distractions in their pockets and the relentless pace of secondary school, students were hearing, but not truly listening. Not to each other, and often not to themselves.

Before we can teach students to listen deeply, we have to ask ourselves:

When was the last time I listened without rehearsing my response?

When did I feel so heard that I left a conversation lighter, seen, and understood?

As educators, we often prioritize content delivery over one of our most powerful tools: listening. More times than I’d like to admit, I’ve asked a question, only to rush in and fill the silence, interrupting the very reflection I was hoping to invite.

Listening is more than a skill; it's an act of generosity – a gift of time and attention.

What Does True Listening Look Like?

Active listening strategies like eye contact, nodding, and waiting our turn are foundational, but true listening goes deeper. It means being fully present, not to reply, but to understand. It’s tuning in with curiosity and compassion, noticing both what’s said and what’s left unsaid. It’s resisting the urge to fix, solve, or judge, and instead, honoring someone’s story without rushing to add our own.

This kind of listening helps students feel safe, seen, and respected. In a noisy world, it’s a quiet force, one that builds trust, fosters empathy, reshapes conversations, and opens hearts.

Presence, Empathy, and the Power of Being Heard

In fast-paced classrooms, deep listening is both rare and challenging—but profoundly impactful.

When we slow down and offer our full attention, students feel respected. They become more willing to share their own experiences and, perhaps even more importantly, to listen attentively to the experiences of others.

Creating space for this kind of listening begins with stories. Stories lie at the heart of connection, especially when they come from our students. They bring humanity into the classroom, spark curiosity, invite reflection, and challenge assumptions. But to truly understand someone’s story, we must be fully present: physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Neuroscience helps explain why this matters. Mirror neurons allow us to resonate with others’ emotions: empathy in action. This helps explain why certain conversations stay with us long after they end, leaving us deeply moved or unexpectedly uplifted. 

By equipping students with tools to listen with presence and curiosity, we cultivate stronger communities and foster deeper cross-cultural understanding

Strategies to Center Listening in Your Classroom

These strategies support deeper student connection, language development, and intercultural understanding. They can be incorporated into daily or weekly routines to nurture a culture of presence and care.

 1. Partner Talk with a Purpose

What it is:A structured partner activity in which students respond to open-ended prompts that connect to both the curriculum and their lived experiences. Students practice active listening, paraphrase their partner’s ideas, and expand the conversation, all grounded in clear norms for respectful communication.

How to use it:

• Start class with a ‘Question of the Day’ connected to the curriculum or students’ lives, or offer 2–3 open-ended prompts with sentence starters.
• Set timer for 3–5 minutes to allow students to choose a prompt and reflect by writing, sketching, or silent thinking.
• In pairs, students take turns sharing their responses while applying listening norms: face the speaker, use kind eyes, nod or say “mmhmm,” and avoid interrupting.
• Encourage students to paraphrase and echo key ideas (e.g., “What I heard you say was…”).
• Wrap up with a class reflection or invite a few students to paraphrase what they heard.
• Debrief together: What stood out? What made someone feel truly heard?

Tips for Deeper Dialogue:

Use “Mini Tour” and “Grand Tour” prompts to support storytelling:

• Mini Tour: “What’s a sound you associate with your family or culture?”
• Grand Tour: “What’s it like getting ready in the morning in your household?”
• Intercultural: “What’s a holiday or tradition that’s meaningful to you? Why?”

Why it works:It positions listening as just as important as speaking. Clear norms and intentional paraphrasing build trust, empathy, and understanding. When students feel genuinely heard, without interruption or judgment, they gain confidence, strengthen relationships, and develop both language and interpersonal skills. As ethnographers often note, the richest insights often come from a simple question: “Is there anything else you’d like to add?”

2. “Tell Me More”: Deepen Storytelling Through Curiosity 

What it is:A simple but powerful prompt system that combines intentional questioning, active listening, and vocabulary support to help students elaborate, connect, and share their stories with greater depth and confidence.

How to use it:

• Establish listening norms: Listen to understand. Use open body language, lean in, mirror the speaker’s tone or posture, offer affirming cues (“mmhmm,” nods), and embrace pauses.
• Use peer interviews: Before beginning, have students prepare 2–3 open-ended questions to guide their conversation.
• Model curiosity: Post and practice follow-up prompts like “Tell me more,” “What happened next?” “How did that feel?” “Why was that meaningful to you?” or “Can you say that another way?”
• Coach interactions: Encourage students to use prompts during partner talk to help peers expand on their stories.
• Support vocabulary growth: Offer word banks with feeling words, transition phrases, and descriptive vocabulary to boost expressive range.
• Add a challenge: Can the listener keep the conversation going for 2 or 3 minutes using curiosity cues alone?
• Reflect together: Debrief with questions like “What surprised you?” “What stuck with you?” or “What did you appreciate about your partner’s story?”

Why it works: Curiosity signals care. When students are taught how to listen deeply and ask meaningful questions, their conversations shift from surface-level to heart-level. These micro-moments build empathy, language fluency, fosters a culture of thoughtful, and student-centered dialogue.

Try this: Invite students to brainstorm open-ended questions they could ask during interviews or discussions. Use a visual, quote, or short text to spark conversation. Encourage them to lead with curiosity using their own questions. Afterward, ask students to share a compelling detail they heard with their partner or with the whole class.

Embracing Silence

Encourage students to pause before responding. Some of the most meaningful insights come in these quiet moments. Gentle follow-ups like “Is there anything I missed?” signal that every voice matters.

Empathy in Action: The Power of Presence

After a long day, sometimes the greatest relief comes from simply being heard, without judgment, advice, or interruption, just the acknowledgment: “I get it.”  Creating that space in your classroom, where deep listening is practiced and stories are honored, lightens the emotional load for everyone. 

Just as those playful active listening cues helped my youngest students tune in, intentional strategies can remind us all to listen with curiosity, presence, and care. Compassionate listening builds trust and empowers students to shape and share their own stories. When we lean in with open hearts and real curiosity, empathy becomes a daily practice, transforming learning, connection, and culture.

How might you invite more presence, curiosity, and listening into your classroom today?